Desire
My last two years have been dedicated to my Desires.
It was quite clear to me at the end of 2016 that I was lacking desire in my life. I decided to do something about it.
Since then, I have been on many excursions and tried many (MANY) different things. I have traveled and workshopped and danced and connected and disconnected on so many levels. It's been quite amazing.
I am still working on my desires-recognizing them, cultivating them, asking for them to be met-but I thought I would share some of what I've learned:
1. It is imperative to acknowledge your desires.
In one of the workshops I attended, we did an exercise called the Asking Practice. We wrote over and over on a page (filling in the blanks) "I could ask ____ for ____."
What I found in doing this practice day after day is it unclogged my pipes. The idea is that having a desire needs to be recognized. What you do with the desire is a whole different story.
"I could ask Bob to clean my ceiling fans." Would I like my ceiling fans cleaned? Hell yes. Would I actually ask Bob? I don't know. But I do know it would be amazing if someone came over and cleaned them for me. Very likely I'll do it myself. But I still have the desire someone does them for me. And I acknowledge that.
2. Desire may or may not feel like lust.
One of the things that kept tripping me up is I was expecting desire to feel like lust. Not necessarily sexual lust, but a definite yearning. Because of this, when someone changed the words "I want" to "I desire" I couldn't answer what my desire was. I could say what I wanted all day, but not what I desired.
What I've realized now is, when your desire pipe is clogged, it is not always going to be clear what is truly coming up as a desire. Sometimes it just appears as a thought. Or a "this would be nice." Or "wow I wish I could..."
I was used to Desire feeling like a call-to-action. Something I knew I needed to move towards. When I wasn't feeling that, I thought I wasn't experiencing desire at all. Really, it was just taking a different form. Or it was coming through as a much milder call to action. Like writing this blog. How many times has it come up in my mind to do this and I've let the thought pass me by? Now that I writing it, it's just coming through me.
3. Discern
I mentioned the class where we had the Asking Practice.
I could ask Rory to pay my rent.
This was an example of something I wrote in my asking practice. It came through in the free-writing way that all my responses came through for this class. That's part of the brilliance of the practice.
I went back and asked "Is this something I really want?" The answer is No. I don't want someone else to pay my rent. What do I really want? I want to make substantial enough income that my rent (or mortgage) payment is nearly inconsequential to me.
Use free-writing to get your desires out, as wild or practical or unlikely to happen as possible. Then, go back to a couple of them and ask do you really want this. If yes, what would having this bring you? If no, what do you really want?
4. Ask for it
Like I said, I've been at this for two years. It has been a slow-going process. And asking for a desire is the hardest part. It's stating vulnerably, out loud that you want something different from what you currently have.
On Saturday I was in a dance performance-the first dance performance of my entire life. I invited some friends, and right before my performance started I realized I wanted them to stand where I could see them so I could dance to them, so to speak. I wanted to see their encouraging faces.
In a matter of half a second I went through this entire thought process of "I wish they were standing over there. That would make this so much easier. There's no way I can ask them to move over there. I'm just going to have to suffer and pretend to smile at people I don't know. Why didn't they get seats up front? If I ask them to go over there it's inconveniencing them." Oh My God.
After this moment of ridiculosity, I asked them. They smiled hugely and said "Of course," and stood where I could see them. It made all the difference in the world. I went from petrified to totally enjoying myself. I also believe, because I think of everything in terms of energy, each time I ask for what I really want (regardless of the answer) I am fortifying my energy. I am making myself stronger in the Universe. I am amplifying my frequency. And THIS is what makes desires clearer and more likely to be met.
It was quite clear to me at the end of 2016 that I was lacking desire in my life. I decided to do something about it.
Since then, I have been on many excursions and tried many (MANY) different things. I have traveled and workshopped and danced and connected and disconnected on so many levels. It's been quite amazing.
I am still working on my desires-recognizing them, cultivating them, asking for them to be met-but I thought I would share some of what I've learned:
1. It is imperative to acknowledge your desires.
In one of the workshops I attended, we did an exercise called the Asking Practice. We wrote over and over on a page (filling in the blanks) "I could ask ____ for ____."
What I found in doing this practice day after day is it unclogged my pipes. The idea is that having a desire needs to be recognized. What you do with the desire is a whole different story.
"I could ask Bob to clean my ceiling fans." Would I like my ceiling fans cleaned? Hell yes. Would I actually ask Bob? I don't know. But I do know it would be amazing if someone came over and cleaned them for me. Very likely I'll do it myself. But I still have the desire someone does them for me. And I acknowledge that.
2. Desire may or may not feel like lust.
One of the things that kept tripping me up is I was expecting desire to feel like lust. Not necessarily sexual lust, but a definite yearning. Because of this, when someone changed the words "I want" to "I desire" I couldn't answer what my desire was. I could say what I wanted all day, but not what I desired.
What I've realized now is, when your desire pipe is clogged, it is not always going to be clear what is truly coming up as a desire. Sometimes it just appears as a thought. Or a "this would be nice." Or "wow I wish I could..."
I was used to Desire feeling like a call-to-action. Something I knew I needed to move towards. When I wasn't feeling that, I thought I wasn't experiencing desire at all. Really, it was just taking a different form. Or it was coming through as a much milder call to action. Like writing this blog. How many times has it come up in my mind to do this and I've let the thought pass me by? Now that I writing it, it's just coming through me.
3. Discern
I mentioned the class where we had the Asking Practice.
I could ask Rory to pay my rent.
This was an example of something I wrote in my asking practice. It came through in the free-writing way that all my responses came through for this class. That's part of the brilliance of the practice.
I went back and asked "Is this something I really want?" The answer is No. I don't want someone else to pay my rent. What do I really want? I want to make substantial enough income that my rent (or mortgage) payment is nearly inconsequential to me.
Use free-writing to get your desires out, as wild or practical or unlikely to happen as possible. Then, go back to a couple of them and ask do you really want this. If yes, what would having this bring you? If no, what do you really want?
4. Ask for it
Like I said, I've been at this for two years. It has been a slow-going process. And asking for a desire is the hardest part. It's stating vulnerably, out loud that you want something different from what you currently have.
On Saturday I was in a dance performance-the first dance performance of my entire life. I invited some friends, and right before my performance started I realized I wanted them to stand where I could see them so I could dance to them, so to speak. I wanted to see their encouraging faces.
In a matter of half a second I went through this entire thought process of "I wish they were standing over there. That would make this so much easier. There's no way I can ask them to move over there. I'm just going to have to suffer and pretend to smile at people I don't know. Why didn't they get seats up front? If I ask them to go over there it's inconveniencing them." Oh My God.
After this moment of ridiculosity, I asked them. They smiled hugely and said "Of course," and stood where I could see them. It made all the difference in the world. I went from petrified to totally enjoying myself. I also believe, because I think of everything in terms of energy, each time I ask for what I really want (regardless of the answer) I am fortifying my energy. I am making myself stronger in the Universe. I am amplifying my frequency. And THIS is what makes desires clearer and more likely to be met.
Comments
Post a Comment