Staying in Turn-On

Today I flew home from NY to Phoenix. On the plane, in between naps, I attempted to stay tuned in to my turn-on.

What this ended up meaning was interpreting my sensations as stimulating and sensual rather than uncomfortable.

This was a very interesting experience and experiment.

What I learned:
1. I don't have to do anything to be turned on except decide to be turned on
2. This is way out of my norm, and actually the opposite of how I've been deciding to live for about 6 years now
3. I repeatedly have resistance come up that feels like I don't have permission to be turned on
4. In the last 30 minutes of the flight I decided to give up and just revert to whatever sensation came without effort. I was cold, cramped and anxious to be off the plane. And I wondered, why is this the experience I keep choosing when I could learn to flex my muscle and live in the turned on place?

There were definitely more things, and I'm sure they'll surface again to be written here. But it was pretty interesting. I also had some loopy thoughts that started coming up and I decided to lean into those with turn on. I need practice, but I think Mama Gena's onto something here.


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